Nathan Barley is a Channel 4 sitcom written by Charlie Brooker and Chris Morris which follows the exploits of a loathsome, fictional twenty-something London media type. Described by his own creator as a "meaningless strutting cadaver-in-waiting", the character originated on Charlie Brooker's TVGoHome – a website parodying television listings – as the focus of a fly-on-the-wall documentary called Cunt. After the cult success of TVGoHome, the name "Nathan Barley" was frequently used pejoratively towards those whose lifestyles were satirised by the series.

n: I am not a preacher man!

than Barley: You should come, dollsnatch. It's gonna be total fucking Mexico.

than Barley: I'm a self-facilitating media node.

aire Ashcroft: All right, Toby? by: I'm a bit cross with you, actually. aire Ashcroft: With me? Why? by: I was waiting for you all night last night in my pyjamas, and you went and let Nathan do a fuck in your arse.

than Barley: Trashbat is a night down the pub with your mates and it's fuckin' mental. A move from the pub to the club for some awesome sounds. Choppin' the chalk out, on the cistern, snout it up and [shouts] fuckin? the system!

than Barley: A taxi home with a bird who's been hitting on you like some kind of industrial hammer, stroking her tits, tending the garden, giving the taxi driver a hard-on. Now back home, fingers roam, phat reggae on the decks, and you feelin' the foam. Trashbat says "Nice and gently, easy as you park the Bentley!" Bring it down. Trashbat is two people leaping from the twin towers and fucking on the way down!

d Smanks: Keep it foolish!

fus Onslatt: [hollers] Dan Ashcroft! "The Rise of the Idiots". Awesome fuckin' opinions, dude. d Smanks: Yeah, well plastic. fus Onslatt: Laterz, dude. d Smanks: Keep it foolish.

than Barley: [narating for his online video blog] This is the Promo party for the launch of Sugar Ape's "Vice Issue". "The Bat" was down here for boobs, tubes and pubes. This is Nathan Barley for "Trashbat". [introduces] Ned Smanks, Rufus Onslatt: Sugar Ape Crew! So what's the fuckin' contact? fus Onslatt: Well right yeah. Well the idea, yeah, was to make it look like these models are being molested in a magazine office. d Smanks: When actually that's not what was *really* happening. fus Onslatt: Yeah, only coz' they were all in on it, yeah, it isn't. d Smanks: 'Cept coz' we were actually fucking them, it *kind* of is. than Barley: Yeah, yeah, I touched two of 'em. [laughs moronically]

than Barley: [approaches hairdresser] Alright, my man! irdresser: Sit. than Barley: Yeah, stout. irdresser: What style? than Barley: Geek Pie. irdresser: [impatiently hands him illustrating board] Draw. than Barley: [begins illustrating] It's kind of long here, yeah, but short here like its been done at random, but if you look closely, eh, you can see that it hasn't, 'cept you can't tell that... and it's got a few of these in it, yeah paint... lids. [hands hairdresser small paint tins] .

n: [in bank applying for loan] Twenty thousand pounds? nk manager: [looks bemused] Twenty thousand pounds? n: Yes. nk manager: I don't think we can do that. n: [pauses] [points to his paint-strewn, half cut hair] Well ignore this. This isn't... you know. Eh... tried to sort this out this morning, but the barber couldn't finish because I killed his cat. [sighs] Emm... nk manager: You killed the barber's cat? n: By accident, yep. So, emm... so just, that's not me. [pause, and he leaves]

than Barley: Peace an' fuckin'!

natton Yeah?: [after watching Nathan Barley's prank video] [blank expression] That's hilarious and co. fus Onslatt: We should give Nathan Barley a column. d Smanks: Yeah, we should give Nathan Barley a column. fus Onslatt: Yeah like call it..."Nathan Barley's Column"? d Smanks: Hey, let's just call it "Barley", man. fus Onslatt: Yeah, man, or like "Nathan". d Smanks: Yeah, ?cause like, that could be like two columns. n: [sarcastic] Two columns. fus Onslatt: Yeah, and like maybe one would be *better* than the other one. d Smanks: Yeah, yeah, and you? and you'd only read the good one. n: [impatient] How would you tell which one was the good one? d Smanks: [dumbfounded] [pauses] Check 'em out. Direct comparison. fus Onslatt: Like, you'd read them both to find out which is the best one. d Smanks: Yeah, and then you'd just read the good one. n: [has lost patience] [looks to Jonatton] Are we gonna' do this? natton Yeah?: Yeah? OK. d Smanks: [to Dan] Take the day off! fus Onslatt: Can we go home early? d Smanks: I'm gonna' do laps, basically, after that.